Goodbye; Our Mama! In Memoriam!
Goodye; Our Mama!
Original – October 26, 2009
As had appeared in The Oman Daily Observer of November 1st 2009 under
My Column – This is the Original Version.
Goodbye, Our Mama! Rest In Peace!
Images – Crying Lady – My Late Mother and Parents!
Our Late Mother (Mama Bi.) Jokha Hamed Zahor Nasser Al Suleimaniya (Peace Be Upon Her) – Left us for her heavenly abode on Monday 4 a.m. October 26th 2009 – From Allah (God) we come – and To Allah (God) we all return … Amin… A great greatness that had come to us with our Mother to us in this world – and now had gone forever – just like dust and candle into the wind!
There is this saying that if you see a grave and see a person being buried, then you will come to your senses of our Temporary existence in this world. And all that we try to pursue, focus, strive, drive and compete for to have – and have ambitions for – and want to have and attain in this world – are all temporary, superficial and a charade. Only what you leave behind is your good deeds, standing, reputation, behavior and characteristics only. There is also this point that sometimes you think you know everything or from your subconscious that they exist – until someone tells you or reminds you – and in many cases end up as being missed chances and opportunities – and if only becomes the norm and too late a reminder!
All the money, power, fame and riches that you have you will leave behind, and you will go with that, what they put on you before they lower you into the ground and bury you! – The Last Three Wishes of Alexander The Great – I came to this world with empty hands – and I will leave this world with empty hands – and I leave behind all my riches!
Our late Mother above had expired early morning Monday morning 26th of October 2009 after a failed and aborted surgery operation at Royal Hospital in Muscat – for Dialysis Implant. She was 78 years old – and her kidneys, lungs and also her heart had failed her. She was actually too weak for any surgery, but the Doctors had told us that her lungs had accumulated too much water – and their attempts to drain her had failed. If we were to refuse the operation, then our Mother would be in great pain and stress.
They had aborted and stopped the operation whilst still in process – and instead they had to resuscitate her and insert oxygen instead. These things are well best left for the Medical Professionals – after all, they are supposed to be more experts, knowledgeable and experienced – and The Hippocrates Oath too! In any case, it is Allah’s Will – and we have to accept that it was her time due to return to Allah SWT.
But having seen that back 10 years ago, my late father went the same way – something has to be done for cases where the patient is aged and weak, and yet the operation becomes necessary as they say. But if one ponders on the critical paramount and fundamental point for a minute that the patient certainly cannot take it – then the Medical Professionals must find alternative ways, means and routes to treat such cases.
I do not think surgery for the sake of surgery or an easy way out is an easy option remembering the Medical oath, ethics, professionalism, principles – and Hippocrates Oath I think? Also if you as The Head of The Medical Team have already reached a decision with one member of the family (in this case me as the eldest) you should stick to that agreement – otherwise it causes distrust and divisions in the family – especially when death etc comes in (as it did!)!
It still does not explain why the need to do the operation was much wanted still and existed – when we reached that agreement of wanting to try to explore alternative means and methods first – albeit even if they are temporary and were last pitch attempts and efforts!A
llah (God) Is Great – Praise be to Allah –The Cherisher and Sustainer of The Worlds – Most Gracious – Most Merciful – Master of the Day of Judgment – You do we worship – And Your aid we seek – Show us the straight (right) way – The way of those on whom You have bestowed Your Grace – Those whose (portion) is not Wrath – And who not go astray (Amin).
My late Mother’s funeral had received one of the biggest gatherings that I had ever seen for a very long time. One resident of the place had asked one of my friends – who is the great person who has died today (by the number of peoples attending). My friend replied – She was not from that very rich and famous powerful group – but certainly she was a Very Great Lady. She had built relationships to those high unbelievable levels – especially to neighbours – proved by how many of them were at the funeral – even from the old Hamriya days 35 years ago – and even our neighbours from Zanzibar, Mafia, others in Tanzania etc. sent in condolences!
The friend told me – I lost my Mother again after my own Mother had died two years ago. Now I have No Mother!One of the old ladies in Hamriya 35 years ago had said – and after she had heard that my Mother had died- she had said to her children – I too want to die and join my best friend and sister in Heaven. She had told my Late Mother – All I wish is to be buried near you – and she was three days later – a premonition and wish that had come true. She was also very sick – and had also lost her husband – and a son too – through sickness.
Her sister from and now in India who was also suffering from Diabetics and Dialysis with failed lungs heart liver and everything else was heard to lament – I wish to join my sister too and to be away from this pain and hurt – and she too died 10 days later.
My late Mother was one of the gentlest, feeling, warm, sincere, genuine and kindest ladies that had ever existed in this world. She always respected and esteemed everybody equally whether you were from the rich or poor, the powerful or not, the famous or not. She was especially kind and generous to the poor, the needy, the desperate, the sick, the aged and elderly, the small children, those that had given up hope and those that had ‘been lost; and wanted to be ‘found and to be discovered’ and had come to her. She was especially against disrespect, rudeness abruptness and contempt to those in ages older to one – and especially also to those in leadership roles.
She stood out against unfairness and lack of ethics and principles in life, and unalike many of us, found it in her own subtle ways and means of communicating what was or should have been obvious to that person – or the person talking to her and asking for her views, ideas and opinions. She meant not to hurt anyone’s feelings and outlook, even if she wanted to scream out the opposite in what she was feeling or was in her heart. This especially to her sometimes misbehaving and truant children – as far as I know she never took a stick to beat you (unalike our late Father Peace Be Upon Him) but she would look at you and stare at you – and you will get the signals and conform yourself – if not the first time – then surely the second time around!
From the time she was married to one of the richest and famous man in that distant island place – to the time we were poor ourselves and in need – she remained unchanged as the same person. At the worst of times in our lives when we had lost everything in The Zanzibar Revolution and when she always prepared and cooked food (a Swahili recipe for Maandaazi), she made sure that us her children ate, were fed and taken care of! Even when we were that poor, there was always extra food in our house in Tanzania, and those worse off than ourselves were always welcomed in to partake whatever was cooked in that house – especially to the locals.
That is where I had received more calls and messages than even from here – they all cried saying – A great lady had come – and now she has gone. We are with you at this particular time – your loss is ours too. That in a summary sums her all up. In all the villages there, they prayed specially for her in the Mosques and in their homes too.
She had told us her children to respect one another and love each other – be as One, Love each other As One – and give and take in our relationships – and to learn to forgive and forget anyone from within the family and outside who had caused us any anger, dismay, hurt, pain and injustice – because we should all go for the high road – and be better people and persons in life – by example, action and practice – rather than by empty rhetoric words.
It is all so very traumatic, hurtful and painful – but we must all now only accept Allah’s Will – Amin. There is this hurt and pain that you simply cannot define when our parents leave us, and leave us the children behind. The rest of us the children have to remember what our Mother had said to us – and to conform and mend and change our ways, behaviours and attitudes. One owes that to the departed especially – and one only can hope and pray!
If you have your parents still alive, please pay attention to them – show them care, trust, love and feelings and care – because once they are gone – you will wish you had given them more attention – because once they are gone there is no turning back of the clock and time to bring them back again – and it will be too late! Our Religion pays great importance on treatment of orphans – only now I understand why! – with both my parents gone now! Our Religion also says – Blessings from Allah comes from your parents – and from the feet of your Mother. What goes around comes around – just as you do to your parents, your children will do the same to you – remember that always in life!
May Allah Bless our Great Mother for the Greatest of The Heavens and Remove her from the punishment of the grave – Amin Amen.
By: – Majid Said Nasser Al Suleimany
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