Respecting Others in Life!

B.13 – Treating Others With Respect and Feelings!


*** Respecting Others in Life! 

 My Father’s Son

Respect Image!

I was interestingly and intently watching my 16 years old daughter M  querying our same Filipino housemaid for the last 15 years as to why she had left home back in Philippines to come and work here in Oman? My daughter had asked her if she did not miss her home, and wanted to go back there or was it because of the money that she received as her wages that made her to continue to stay here – rather than being back at home and raising her own family at home.

Then the housemaid asked my daughter – your father had left Oman to go to Abu Dhabi in UAE to work there before, No? So why did the Master (Pappa she calls me too) go there and not stay only here in Oman? My daughter replied – because my father had lost his consultancy business and had his pension all lost too, and they were not offering him a decent good job in Oman. Also, because though he is an experienced professional Human Resources Professional and Expert, he could not get a job in Oman because his age became a factor in being considered for such a job. That is it – my housemaid said. It is for the same reason for me too. Our family back home is poor, I cannot get a job at home and I need to look after and feed my family. It is not a matter of choice, but I needed to get out and look after another family which is not mine, so only then I could look after my own family.

These conversations made me sit upright and take notice, the beauty of it all was that I was eavesdropping on a conversation, and that is normally not a good thing for a man to do that – especially when ladies talk. Leaving that aside for a minute, importantly here was humanity, touch and feelings at its base – a daughter asking the housemaid why, and the poor thing explaining why she had left home. This brings us to the subject of today – the main point and issue being of treating the poor things in our homes with more understanding, care, feelings, sympathy and appreciation.

Just like you, my expatriate reader leaving home to come here in Oman and working and keeping that housemaid or houseboy, gardener, cook etc also in your home. Just like you my countrymen and countrywomen leaving your house in Oman early morning and returning sometimes late at night to go and work for a company – whatever the bottom line is that you are working for someone else, and that someone else is your boss and employer. It goes up the echelon, that boss also works for more Senior Management, the CEO and The Corporate Board etc – depending on your position in the hierarchy! Even The Board works for the Chairman, and the Chairman for the stakeholders too. It is a continuous vicious circle, and there is no cut or break in its circulation. It is only a question of time and place – and where you are at that particular time and juncture.

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Images Respect – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

The driver, the gardener, the housemaid or houseboy, the cook, the messenger, the tea boy or tea girl, the helper handyman etc – they all have feelings, hurt, and pain. They are all the same like you the Supervisor, the Manager, the Director, the GM and CEO, the Board and the Chairman too. They feel hurt and pain. It is all in the end a question of ethics, principles, transparencies, accountabilities, professionalism, humanity, and a feeling of respect, touch and care – and the reciprocity of its all.

Treat your housemaid badly, and 9 out of 10, what goes in comes around maxim takes its place, and your boss in that big office will one day or eventually treat you the same. Treat your parents and elders badly, and nine out of 10 your own children and younger family generation will treat you the same in the future. It has been said so many times, and so many times have been proven right, correct and true – again and again.

Sometimes we humans do not need even to be told and to be reminded about these things – because we all have our inner side (our Karma side as my Indian friend tells me), our in-built conscience and guilt. There is Simply No Religion in the world that tells you to go and hurt someone’s feelings, dignity and respect. Worse case scenario when you hurt and pain a poor soul – which is already hurt, pained and suffering already inside to go and work abroad just to look after and feed his or her family. I was watching this Regional TV channel of how badly housemaids were being treated in one country in the Middle East, and how one housemaid was refusing to go back and work there even if she was paid 10 times her current salary. This is humanity at its worst level.

Just like, you leaving your home here daily to go to your Office day in and out. At the bottom line of it all, it is only a question of borders and distance – it is either from Manila to Qurum, or from Qurum to Al Khuwair – or whatever place in Oman. It could also be you from Oman to one of the neighbouring Gulf Countries, or who knows who will marry your daughter or your son, it could be like a place in USA, UK, and Australia etc – a place that you had never imagined or thought possible that your siblings or family members would ever go to one day!

That is life for you – teaches, directs, leads and guides you – even after death like my late Father used to tell us. He used to say – who sleeps in one direction only at night? But in your grave that is what is going to happen to you, whether in your shroud or in your coffin! And for us Muslims we sleep only on one side and facing Mecca, until the Day of Judgement – or Reincarnation – depending on your religion and beliefs. And if you believe in reincarnation – that pigeon could as well be your late uncle or aunt – notice how intently it is watching you too?

So let humanity, feelings, touch, care and feelings prevail. Principles. Ethics. Professionalism. Transparencies. Accountabilities. Respect, esteem and everything else we humans should be doing to each other. Not harming and destroying each other. Just like you who want to be left alone in peace, harmony and safety – so does your neighbour too. Let humanity, care and feelings prevail. Let us allow respect and honouring each other dominate and prevail. Remember the great maxim – Do unto Others, as Others Do Unto You. Or coming more to the ground – what goes around, comes around.

Unfortunately, for some peoples they have never learnt from past their mistakes, experiences and history – and what has happened to them before in their lives. They repeat the same errors, mistakes and wrong judgements made in the past. The same bad treatment, injustice and aggressive stand to others – and the use of foul and threatening language – be it at an individual level or even higher levels.

We need to STOP NOW AND THINK! And more importantly too to follow our religious teachings, guidelines and history – and remembering this great religious adage – if you intentionally or inadvertently kill an innocent person who has not done any harm or injustice to you personally or to your neared ones, then you are counted as killing a whole nation. When are we ever going to learn? Until it is too late, and we are into the precipice? Let us stop and think now! The time is now, not tomorrow or maybe!

Take care!

*** This article was produced first in May 2003 – over 11 years ago in my books below!

E - Between Us Only!C - Short Takes